Soooo, 2013 in review? I really hit rock-bottom spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically.
Onward to 2014.
Spending all day every day together couldn't be good for any of us, especially the kiddos. I was no example of living by the Spirit, the only fruit in my life was bitterness, impatience and discontent. So after MANY tears/prayer we put the kids in public school this semester. The verse in Luke about leaving everything and "hating" your family in order to follow Jesus really spoke to me. I want to truly follow Christ -- you know -- the One whose "Yoke is easy and burden, light!" I have to find LIFE and LIFE to the full in order to share it with those around me. Only then will I be able to bless my family and others! I felt like God was speaking to my heart, "Trust Me with your kids and come follow Me". I decided my word for the year would be JESUS and I would let NOTHING get between us.
Just a week after school started I went on a women's retreat. That first night I knelt with some other ladies praying for a return to the joy of His salvation. I felt like I was crying out from the pit, so great was the depth of my despair. Then quite suddenly, right there in the midst of my sorrow, it came! I was filled with God's love -- I can't remember ever being rescued so rapidly! Bursting full of love -- and straight from the pit of Hell! I was skipping through the retreat center.
Upon coming home .... my circumstances were still there and I have had to work to take every negative thought captive. I decided I wanted to focus on JESUS and less on my so-called rights. I started reading the Gospels, and also a book called "Speaking of Jesus". This book really spoke to me. It spoke to me about how simple the gospel is and how we as Evangelical Christians (and the like) have added to it, just like the Pharisees added to the Law. And how much I have BLOWN it trying to share Jesus by trying to share a doctrinal plan of salvation when HE IS THE PLAN.
Months ago I was talking with a new friend and had mentioned my favorite part of the Narnia Series in 'The Last Battle". And he dared me to read "Love Wins" by Rob Bell. I think I chickened out at the time, because in the dare he might have mentioned heresy or something. Regardless I decided to triple dog dare myself and now there would be no turning back.
This book knocked my socks off. I feel like the scales fell away from my eyes. GOD is greater and more glorious than I ever imagined. It turns out HE is just Who I always wanted Him to be, and who He said He was. GOD IS LOVE. You may be saying, "Duh." But some of what I had been taught left me with contrary feeling in my gut and an enormous burden on my shoulders. Reading this book I was BLIND-SIDED by God's Love. After I finished the chapter on hell, I bawled my eyes out --WITH JOY!. I had been in a personal hell the last several months (years?!), and He had died to rescue me from it. After finishing this book I feel like I just got the Good News! And I did. I really did. Before I read this book, I honestly felt somewhere deep down like the Good News was really bad news masquerading as good news. But it's not! It's the BEST NEWS EVER. I know that in evangelical circles this book is highly taboo, but I was BLIND and now I SEE the goodness of God. Some reviews on Amazon chide this book saying Rob Bell is obviously a Universalist. I read it twice and I did not get that at all. The other complaints are that it somehow diminishes the power of the cross. Really? For me the cross just got a whole lot more powerful. And my savior more lovely than I ever imagined. I don't agree with every sentence in this book, but I have been telling Jesus for years that I want to be head over heels crazy about Him. And now, I AM.
Sunday, February 2, 2014
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
One Word 2014
This is the last year I am picking a word. I am just going to keep this one from now on. Ok? If you notice I seemed to have forgot my word, shake me. Or better yet mercifully whisper it in my ear. JESUS.
Friday, January 6, 2012
One word 2012
I've got my word: Listen. I am going to hush now and try it out:).
oh wait.... I have an update:
It is going to be a combo. Attend (the habit of attention... which includes listening and not burning dinner) and I believe God gave me a new one.... Praise!
oh wait.... I have an update:
It is going to be a combo. Attend (the habit of attention... which includes listening and not burning dinner) and I believe God gave me a new one.... Praise!
Saturday, December 31, 2011
2011 Year in Review
Last year I chose a word for the year. That word was LESS. This year saw less of a lot of things and more of some other. I am not sure I did the best job with the "less" focus, however; wrapping up the year I find that there is about 15 pounds less of me. So that is something to be thankful for! I fit in my skinny jeans again! Keep in mind my skinny jeans are size 10, so it's all relative.
2011 was a whopper of a year for the Wile family full of both challenge and adventure! We started the year with a peaceful January and then February went off with a bang-- Remi had an appendectomy followed ten days later by invasive surgery to correct a complete bowel obstruction! It was excruciatingly painful, but God's peace was with us and Remi was truly a trooper. Andy's Mama Ruby and Great Grama Faye had some copycat abdominal surgeries shortly thereafter. Not to be outdone, Andy's brother, Uncle Bug broke several vertebrate, his sternum and all kinds of crazy ribs while leaving his spinal cord intact! We are so thankful for his amazing recovery. Not to be left out, his bride, Bernie took a dive off a porcelain throne that resulted in stitches and a cool lighting bolt scar on her forehead. All this without mind altering drugs! I am happy to report a favorable survival rate of 100%. All jesting aside we are so thankful that all these precious people are still here with us.
This spring we moved out of our beautiful 2400 sqft house on 2 acres and into an itty bitty 1100 sqft trailer on 40 acres! We've gotten a little fowl crazy. We started off with 10 chicks and a pair of goslings…. and have since added 11 keets and 3 more hens….. for a grand total of 10 hens, 1 rooster, 6 guinea fowl and a goose! Needless to say the numbers don't add up and we have learned a thing or two about death, especially by bobcat. Our latest acquisition is a pair of Great Pyrenese/GSD mix puppies, who we hope will grow up to scare away bobcats. =) We also have a pair of indoor kitties AND a pair of outdoor kitties… and a few goats. Needless to say, Doug and Rosie are not very pleased. We, however, are ecstatic. The hens have begun laying and we just got to give away our first dozen eggs! It's been our prayer that we would be able to bless others with the fruit of this land, and God willing, we hope to continue on that path.
This year I have had some crazy health issues of my own. I was hobbling around early this Summer like a little old lady in the day time and at night I was waking up confused and terrified. It was quickly worsening and quite alarming. I had lots of medical tests which showed I was in perfect health, aside from mild sleep apnea and heart burn. I started researching and I read a lot about Candida online, I read some books ("Real Food" and "The Fungus Link") and saw a movie called, "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead". I quit a long term relationship with Flonase and made some drastic changes to my diet. The hobbling and pain in my feet and limbs is completely gone and I am sleeping much more peacefully. I am so grateful for this journey toward good health!
This fall we also began classically educating our kids (Remi is 9, Rhett is 6 and Rhyson just turned 5)at home. We joined a Classical Conversations community where we receive tutoring and do science projects and presentations once a week. The rest of the week, Mom is the teacher. We all love it! It is a huge challenge and also a big adventure. This year I read "A Thomas Jefferson Education" and was so inspired! I am receiving a classical education along side my kids. I love it! And, yes, sometimes I am pulling my hair out too! Our CC group is a huge blessing! We commute 25 minutes to our group and to our surprise we met 3 other families from our small town. And just when I was starting to feel all alone in the middle of nowhere. =) Now just 6 months after moving here, I am blessed with a group of new friends. We meet weekly for breakfast and it is such an encouragement!
Andy is still working for the postal service. He is in Labor Relations these days and he seems to enjoy representing the management side in labor disputes… I keep teasing that he may need to go back to school for a law degree since he is already so good at 'lawyering'. Even though we moved farther away from town, Andy's commute is only about 5 minutes longer. He is loving living out here a
and becoming a real lumber jack!
We are so thankful for God's faithfulness and provision this year. May we glorify Him in 2012! I have been keeping my eyes and ears open for a word for next year.... maybe that is just it. Word!
Wishing you a blessed 2012 that surpasses your wildest dreams!
2011 was a whopper of a year for the Wile family full of both challenge and adventure! We started the year with a peaceful January and then February went off with a bang-- Remi had an appendectomy followed ten days later by invasive surgery to correct a complete bowel obstruction! It was excruciatingly painful, but God's peace was with us and Remi was truly a trooper. Andy's Mama Ruby and Great Grama Faye had some copycat abdominal surgeries shortly thereafter. Not to be outdone, Andy's brother, Uncle Bug broke several vertebrate, his sternum and all kinds of crazy ribs while leaving his spinal cord intact! We are so thankful for his amazing recovery. Not to be left out, his bride, Bernie took a dive off a porcelain throne that resulted in stitches and a cool lighting bolt scar on her forehead. All this without mind altering drugs! I am happy to report a favorable survival rate of 100%. All jesting aside we are so thankful that all these precious people are still here with us.
This spring we moved out of our beautiful 2400 sqft house on 2 acres and into an itty bitty 1100 sqft trailer on 40 acres! We've gotten a little fowl crazy. We started off with 10 chicks and a pair of goslings…. and have since added 11 keets and 3 more hens….. for a grand total of 10 hens, 1 rooster, 6 guinea fowl and a goose! Needless to say the numbers don't add up and we have learned a thing or two about death, especially by bobcat. Our latest acquisition is a pair of Great Pyrenese/GSD mix puppies, who we hope will grow up to scare away bobcats. =) We also have a pair of indoor kitties AND a pair of outdoor kitties… and a few goats. Needless to say, Doug and Rosie are not very pleased. We, however, are ecstatic. The hens have begun laying and we just got to give away our first dozen eggs! It's been our prayer that we would be able to bless others with the fruit of this land, and God willing, we hope to continue on that path.
This year I have had some crazy health issues of my own. I was hobbling around early this Summer like a little old lady in the day time and at night I was waking up confused and terrified. It was quickly worsening and quite alarming. I had lots of medical tests which showed I was in perfect health, aside from mild sleep apnea and heart burn. I started researching and I read a lot about Candida online, I read some books ("Real Food" and "The Fungus Link") and saw a movie called, "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead". I quit a long term relationship with Flonase and made some drastic changes to my diet. The hobbling and pain in my feet and limbs is completely gone and I am sleeping much more peacefully. I am so grateful for this journey toward good health!
This fall we also began classically educating our kids (Remi is 9, Rhett is 6 and Rhyson just turned 5)at home. We joined a Classical Conversations community where we receive tutoring and do science projects and presentations once a week. The rest of the week, Mom is the teacher. We all love it! It is a huge challenge and also a big adventure. This year I read "A Thomas Jefferson Education" and was so inspired! I am receiving a classical education along side my kids. I love it! And, yes, sometimes I am pulling my hair out too! Our CC group is a huge blessing! We commute 25 minutes to our group and to our surprise we met 3 other families from our small town. And just when I was starting to feel all alone in the middle of nowhere. =) Now just 6 months after moving here, I am blessed with a group of new friends. We meet weekly for breakfast and it is such an encouragement!
Andy is still working for the postal service. He is in Labor Relations these days and he seems to enjoy representing the management side in labor disputes… I keep teasing that he may need to go back to school for a law degree since he is already so good at 'lawyering'. Even though we moved farther away from town, Andy's commute is only about 5 minutes longer. He is loving living out here a
and becoming a real lumber jack!
We are so thankful for God's faithfulness and provision this year. May we glorify Him in 2012! I have been keeping my eyes and ears open for a word for next year.... maybe that is just it. Word!
Wishing you a blessed 2012 that surpasses your wildest dreams!
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Norwex Vs eCloth: One Mom's Opinion
So... my sister in law was having a Norwex party.... I looked at the information and LOVED it. But they were a little expensive... somehow I came across ecloth, which calls itself a comparable product and is much less expensive. I searched the web and only found one review that was willing to say which they liked better and she was vague at that. I ordered the big 8 pack of eCloth Professional and ordered the Norwex AntiBac Polishing Cloth, Norwex AntiBac Body Cloths and the Norwex rep traded an Norwex AntiBac Enviro Cloth for one of my eCloth Professionals so we both could compare.
I am not doing any science to test the germ killing claims of either cloth.... I am just going to tell you what it they feel like. The eCloth Professionals are more similar in size to the Norwex Body cloths (and they are more similar in price too!!) The Body Cloths are much softer eCloth and seems to have more grab. Norwex Enviro Cloth is larger than the eCloth Professional and has a slightly different texture which also seems to have more grab. The Norwex products have a whole lot of 'grab', my guess is they must be a smaller microfiber than the eCloth. Overall I prefer the feel Norwex cloths. If they both really achieve the same purpose, then I suppose it doesn't matter which you get. I don't know whether or not they do. However, the Norwex products 'feel' more worth the spending spree... while the eCloths leave me wondering if I didn't just blow 50 bucks on overly expensive washcloths.
Not sure if any of them seem to have the magical ability to crush whatever it is that makes clothes get stinky. The eCloth definitely doesn't. I'll let you know if I change my mind. =(
sorry about the lack of proofreading... gotta get off the computer~
I am not doing any science to test the germ killing claims of either cloth.... I am just going to tell you what it they feel like. The eCloth Professionals are more similar in size to the Norwex Body cloths (and they are more similar in price too!!) The Body Cloths are much softer eCloth and seems to have more grab. Norwex Enviro Cloth is larger than the eCloth Professional and has a slightly different texture which also seems to have more grab. The Norwex products have a whole lot of 'grab', my guess is they must be a smaller microfiber than the eCloth. Overall I prefer the feel Norwex cloths. If they both really achieve the same purpose, then I suppose it doesn't matter which you get. I don't know whether or not they do. However, the Norwex products 'feel' more worth the spending spree... while the eCloths leave me wondering if I didn't just blow 50 bucks on overly expensive washcloths.
Not sure if any of them seem to have the magical ability to crush whatever it is that makes clothes get stinky. The eCloth definitely doesn't. I'll let you know if I change my mind. =(
sorry about the lack of proofreading... gotta get off the computer~
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Hallelujah!!
I am so thankful to my Heavenly Father! Whatever was oh-so wrong with me, is either under control or gone! I am sleeping through the night! No more confused night wakings or night terrors! I an no longer hobbling and exhausted by 4 o'clock! And, praise the Lord, I am no longer filled with anxiety and weeping the day away. I am not sure exactly "how" I am better, but I do know that many faithful people have been praying for me (thank you, thank you). He inspired a lot of changes... many of which I could never have done in my own strength. I am on an entirely gluten free and sugar free "anti-Candida" diet! I am even avoiding sugary fruit. I quit my three year long usage of Flonase. And I am taking Prilosec, because it turns out reflux is what was waking me with a jolt! I confess, I didn't believe it myself until I tried not to take it a couple days... and sure enough, I startled awake. Yuck!
I am so thankful for this new lease on life!
Surely, God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The LORD, The LORD himself, is my strength and defense; He has become my salvation! Isaiah 12:2
I am so thankful for this new lease on life!
Surely, God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The LORD, The LORD himself, is my strength and defense; He has become my salvation! Isaiah 12:2
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Less Sanity
I have to confess that this year of less is not going anything like I planned.
Less control, less sanity. I can not stop crying. I feel so worthless, so fraudulent, so completely useless.
I want to do all things through Christ who strengthens me. How does that work? I haven't blogged lately because I had hoped that I would share tidbits of wisdom gleaned and offer hope. I have been spending a whole lot of time in the slimy pit. I am waiting (I think). There is not much else you can do when you are stuck in the mud.
On a separate note, there was a beacon of light in my homeschooling tunnel this week. I have been learning about classical education and attended a practicum through Classical Conversations. We are joining one of their community groups this fall. I can hardly wait for school to start! Oh, wait, I guess we should finish this year sometime soon. Good thing we have 2 months!
One thing there is not less of over here.... birdies.
If you think of it... say a prayer that He would make Himself known to me. I don't really want to stop crying without Him.
PS... (a little update July 23) I feel bad leaving this blog sitting here ...so much was left out of this 'wailing' post. I have been having confused night wakings and many other wierd health issues. I have been to the doctor and I have beautiful bloodwork. I changed my diet drastically. No sugar, no gluton, no white carbs, and I have been juicing and eatting lots of greeens. I am for the most part, feeling tons better, thank God. However, I am still having confusion at night. It is so hard to say whether its the cause of my anxiety... or an effect of it! I had a sleep study that showed I have some sort of sleep apnea and am getting low oxygen when on my back...of course I didn't wake confused there... and it wasn't quite low enough to qualify me for a CPAP. The confusion is getting worse and I start awake... in a panic, heart racing over some revealed conspiracy, that quickly fogs over until I have no idea what I was talking about. Last night I had some white basmati rice with my dinner, and over the next few hours a headache and body aches descended (along with the bedtime confusion) Argh! I wish I knew what the deal was. I fear it may be systemic candida and am following a candida diet -aside from the slip up with the rice. So crazy! Anywhoooo, I am working on trusting God through this. He is the sovereign Lord of all.
Isaiah 12:2
2 Surely God is my salvation;
I will trust and not be afraid.
The LORD, the LORD himself, is my strength and my defense[a];
he has become my salvation.”
Psalm 32:7
7 You are my hiding place;
you will protect me from trouble
and surround me with songs of deliverance.
Another Update: Praise God the nighttime confusion has ceased. I am on a high fat, low carb, gluten/sugar free diet and it has really been a help, taking quite a bit of advice from www.healingnaturallybybee.com. God has been so faithful through all this! I am thankful for this 'refining fire' and it is my prayer that I look more like Him on the other end.
Less control, less sanity. I can not stop crying. I feel so worthless, so fraudulent, so completely useless.
I want to do all things through Christ who strengthens me. How does that work? I haven't blogged lately because I had hoped that I would share tidbits of wisdom gleaned and offer hope. I have been spending a whole lot of time in the slimy pit. I am waiting (I think). There is not much else you can do when you are stuck in the mud.
On a separate note, there was a beacon of light in my homeschooling tunnel this week. I have been learning about classical education and attended a practicum through Classical Conversations. We are joining one of their community groups this fall. I can hardly wait for school to start! Oh, wait, I guess we should finish this year sometime soon. Good thing we have 2 months!
One thing there is not less of over here.... birdies.
If you think of it... say a prayer that He would make Himself known to me. I don't really want to stop crying without Him.
PS... (a little update July 23) I feel bad leaving this blog sitting here ...so much was left out of this 'wailing' post. I have been having confused night wakings and many other wierd health issues. I have been to the doctor and I have beautiful bloodwork. I changed my diet drastically. No sugar, no gluton, no white carbs, and I have been juicing and eatting lots of greeens. I am for the most part, feeling tons better, thank God. However, I am still having confusion at night. It is so hard to say whether its the cause of my anxiety... or an effect of it! I had a sleep study that showed I have some sort of sleep apnea and am getting low oxygen when on my back...of course I didn't wake confused there... and it wasn't quite low enough to qualify me for a CPAP. The confusion is getting worse and I start awake... in a panic, heart racing over some revealed conspiracy, that quickly fogs over until I have no idea what I was talking about. Last night I had some white basmati rice with my dinner, and over the next few hours a headache and body aches descended (along with the bedtime confusion) Argh! I wish I knew what the deal was. I fear it may be systemic candida and am following a candida diet -aside from the slip up with the rice. So crazy! Anywhoooo, I am working on trusting God through this. He is the sovereign Lord of all.
Isaiah 12:2
2 Surely God is my salvation;
I will trust and not be afraid.
The LORD, the LORD himself, is my strength and my defense[a];
he has become my salvation.”
Psalm 32:7
7 You are my hiding place;
you will protect me from trouble
and surround me with songs of deliverance.
Another Update: Praise God the nighttime confusion has ceased. I am on a high fat, low carb, gluten/sugar free diet and it has really been a help, taking quite a bit of advice from www.healingnaturallybybee.com. God has been so faithful through all this! I am thankful for this 'refining fire' and it is my prayer that I look more like Him on the other end.
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