Worrying about God's Will.....

Not too long ago we bought some wooded land. In a moment of weakness we offered more than we had said we would. And we got it. Afterwords I was continually beating myself up about it. As much as I loved to go there and enjoy the beauty of God's creation, I was tied up with guilt about what we had done, worrying whether we were in God's will with our purchase and our hopes to move there eventually. I was afraid to move ahead, spending a lot of time looking back instead of forward.

At a woman's retreat in a similar wooded setting I was attempting to spend some alone time with God. I was praying, and shuffling through papers, having trouble deciding what to read from his Word and feeling guilty, frustrated and stressed out! Finally as I tried to find a place indoors to be alone with Him, I found myself sharing a reading room with another of his daughters. I didn't want to make a bunch of distracting noise by shuffling through my stuff so I decided to continue with the Bible Reading Plan I am using. I told God with some sarcasm that probably deserved a lightening bolt, "So, do you think you can speak to me through Joshua?"

And he promptly did. The words jumped of the page. "...How long will you wait before you begin to take possession of the land that the Lord, the God of your ancestors, has given you?"

I was filled with comfort and peace as I laughed and cried at the same time. It was like God said, "Get over yourself! I have given it to you! What are you waiting for?"

I have been learning a lot lately about God's will. I have learned it is not something you are supposed to worry about. Loving and obeying God will keep you there. God is sovereign and can use us even when we mess up, even though we are messed up.

I really learned a lot from John Piper over at DesiringGod.org on the subject. He has a talk you can watch, read or listen to for free: It is called "What Is the Will of God and How Do We Know It?"

Oh... and an added note... the aforementioned link also blessed me with understanding in the difficult area of God's Will during hardship/loss. I bet it would bless you too.

Psalm 73:21-23

Yesterday, I was a boneheaded hardhearted worm. Even so, He never left me. And He was kind enough to remind me this morning.

21 When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,
22 I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.
23 Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.

and you can't really stop there, because it just gets better...

24 You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

=)

What I heard in the Word...

Just a few days ago I finally made good on my promise to start journaling as I read my Bible. Yesterday was the most special time spent in the Word I have ever had. I have never quite had a Bible reading experience like this before. This is in no way intended as a political commentary. Please don’t interpret it as such. I just wanted to share my experience in God's Word.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yesterday before I sat down to read my One Year Bible, I began to pour out my heart telling God what He already knows is on my heart. I wrote as I prayed:

“I am so afraid about the political situation – I know I shouldn’t be—to God be the Glory! I should be trusting Him! I am praying our nation would turn back to her godly origins and that as a nation we would repent. I am praying that God will deliver us from this president (who I know He is using as His pawn!) and from the Hellish agenda. I am afraid of the future of/in this nation for those that love God and I’m praying that I (and my family) would be faithful. It is terrifying that the President has his eye on my precious boys. Please Lord help me train them up in the way they should go. Please Lord hold my kiddos tightly. Engrave us on Your palm!”

In Isaiah 49 God says “See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands...” I have loved the phrase since first hearing it… the idea that God holds on to us so tightly that we are etched onto his palm…marvelous!"

After jotting down my heartfelt prayer in complete distress, I began to read from the One Year Bible (that’s the New Living Translation, by the way). I am currently a day behind – and don’t go thinking, ‘wow, she is disciplined’ – I started in early November. This is my first attempt (without giving up!?) to read the entire Bible and my first time reading Isaiah.

Isaiah 51 began by grabbing my attention “Listen to me, all who hope for deliverance – all who seek the Lord!” I just prayed for deliverance!

Now I am no Bible scholar, but I count myself among God’s chosen people. I believe that when we gentiles choose to accept God’s free gift of salvation through Christ, we are ‘grafted’ into His family tree. So when the Bible says, ‘Yo Abraham!’ ‘Hey Jacob!’ ‘Yo Israel!’ or ‘Hey Zion!’ I am all ears.

I read on…

“4 “Listen to me, my people.
Hear me, Israel,
for my law will be proclaimed,
and my justice will become a light to the nations.
5 My mercy and justice are coming soon.
My salvation is on the way.
My strong arm will bring justice to the nations.
All distant lands will look to me
and wait in hope for my powerful arm.

At this point I copied those verses down in my journal and wrote prayerfully, “Lord, I am waiting in hope for your powerful arm!”

Then in verse 6 God reminded me to keep my eye to the sky! That this is earthly life is not where my focus should be.

In verse 7 I was reminded of my fear of reproach from my non-Christian friends (not that any of them have done or said a single thing to deserve this, this is just a major issue for me personally…and in part why I felt I should go ahead and post this since I really felt like sharing it).

In verse 9, I heard my own plea repeated, “Wake up, wake up, O LORD! Clothe yourself with strength! Flex your mighty right arm!”

In verses 12-16 God continued to speak straight to my heart. He reminded me that He is my comforter. This was especially touching because of the sweet reprieve God has given me over the last couple days, even while our home is still wracked with illnesses, the dark feeling of despair is gone. I have been filled with hope! Then He lovingly addressed my fear and overwhelming dread about our nation's leader. He called me out on my fear of man, reminding me that He is the Creator and the LORD of Heaven’s Armies. He reminds me that He will (and has already) overcome the world. Most precious of all, verse 16, He reminded me that, just as I had asked, He has hidden me safely in his hand!

12 “I, yes I, am the one who comforts you.
So why are you afraid of mere humans,
who wither like the grass and disappear?
13 Yet you have forgotten the LORD, your Creator,
the one who stretched out the sky like a canopy
and laid the foundations of the earth.
Will you remain in constant dread of human oppressors?
Will you continue to fear the anger of your enemies?
Where is their fury and anger now?
It is gone!
14 Soon all you captives will be released!
Imprisonment, starvation, and death will not be your fate!
15 For I am the LORD your God,
who stirs up the sea, causing its waves to roar.
My name is the LORD of Heaven’s Armies.
16 And I have put my words in your mouth
and hidden you safely in my hand.
I stretched out[d] the sky like a canopy
and laid the foundations of the earth.
I am the one who says to Israel,
‘You are my people!’”